when d night is dark, the stars r gone
the skies.. gray..
I am alone.walking my way..
or perhaps getting dragged..
never knew i wud take the turn that i did..
not coz i wntd to..destiny took me there.
and left me all alone.
all my "mines" passed me ahead..
I was left
standing in the midst of all the darkness
I fell down..on my knees I prayed.
God! Save me!
I cant bear this..
voice came frm within..i should move on
coz this is life.and life has to go on.
I tried to move on..
took a few steps.. and fell again
I ws learning to walk.
walk when the going got tough..
nd fell again..
but Came the light frm sumwhere
as a hope..as an inspiration.
as a saviour..a support..
I ws filled wid joy.
walked hurriedly with you...
But u were not with me....
Your aims were never mine..
My dreams were never yours.
But I walked with u.
and
now I am here..
standing all alone.
when d night is dark, the stars r gone
the skies.. gray..
I am alone.
and u r gone far..far ahead..
And u r not here..
When I need u...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Irony
the path is long....
deserted...
void 2 d depths unfathomable....
moved along..bereft of thought..
benumbed by d din outside..
outside wat??
the mind is saturnine....the soul is silent..
nd the path is desolate...
then y dis noise??from where it is?
d cacophony of the game...
a big one...engulfing the past and present...
its darrk wide wings ready 2 swallow up the future....
a big game, fun filled at instants..
yet cruel,very cruel...
but no1 asked 4 participation...
yet every1 participated...
nd d game kicked off...
the moment they took their first breaths..
the very first breaths....
and they were a piece on the checker board...
the soul was pure...pure to the bottom...
resisted this bitter entrance..
cried out loud
..at the very first breath....
the brain was infected....
infected with the atrocities committed and felt over ages.....
was too happy to get a chance to participate again....
but the soul..??
its naivete??
...faded slowly...
slowly in this fast moving life..
.slowly..with every forward step..
slowly along the forsaken path...
their deeds shouted back..
the question was always ''why???"
"wat was the need??"
the reply always came frm mind...
and always the same....
"the need of the hour"
was the need that strong..
that enticing???
perhaps...
perhaps not...
perhaps they did not know whether it was..
but the soul..?
didnt it conquer this inhumanness....
didnt it overthrow the strategic brain...
it tried to...
for some of them...it succeeded to some some extent...
for others it could not...
yet the vacuity was never filled in with harmony...
malevolence prevailed..
the move was never together.....
the path was always abandoned....
and they moved along...
deserted...
void 2 d depths unfathomable....
moved along..bereft of thought..
benumbed by d din outside..
outside wat??
the mind is saturnine....the soul is silent..
nd the path is desolate...
then y dis noise??from where it is?
d cacophony of the game...
a big one...engulfing the past and present...
its darrk wide wings ready 2 swallow up the future....
a big game, fun filled at instants..
yet cruel,very cruel...
but no1 asked 4 participation...
yet every1 participated...
nd d game kicked off...
the moment they took their first breaths..
the very first breaths....
and they were a piece on the checker board...
the soul was pure...pure to the bottom...
resisted this bitter entrance..
cried out loud
..at the very first breath....
the brain was infected....
infected with the atrocities committed and felt over ages.....
was too happy to get a chance to participate again....
but the soul..??
its naivete??
...faded slowly...
slowly in this fast moving life..
.slowly..with every forward step..
slowly along the forsaken path...
their deeds shouted back..
the question was always ''why???"
"wat was the need??"
the reply always came frm mind...
and always the same....
"the need of the hour"
was the need that strong..
that enticing???
perhaps...
perhaps not...
perhaps they did not know whether it was..
but the soul..?
didnt it conquer this inhumanness....
didnt it overthrow the strategic brain...
it tried to...
for some of them...it succeeded to some some extent...
for others it could not...
yet the vacuity was never filled in with harmony...
malevolence prevailed..
the move was never together.....
the path was always abandoned....
and they moved along...
love struck??eh??
its an amazing experience! falling in love..that too during the most beautiful phase of ur life..college life! you also must have experienced it...how a day..which started off as just any other day of your life...becomes special!i guess for those who have had >1 love stories, it would have lost or atleast diminished the beauty of the feeling!! so you see there is an advantage in being loyal to your "yours"...so those multiple-love stories ppl can read on and realize what they are missing....may be they start being loyal now!!!i do a lot of social work u c!! and those who havent ever been in love..you guys should definitely read on man! and realize what you also are missing! all the serious-in-loves must be very happy with me right now(if any such person luckily happens to read this..they r much in their own dreams..i dont think they fantasize reading anyone else' whims!..which are mine in this case :D)..for giving them a special position, much coveted by the other three categories!
i guess i am going astray from the main theme now..guys! dont blame me! the topic is too intoxicating to continue! havent ever swung this much even after 5 shots of vodka!(now do not start thinkin u r reading a drunkard's post!!)
so..it starts off as just another day, you wake up, you curse your professors for being so much panicky about attendance..and u promise to urself u'll never be such a popularly hated professor if ever u enter the profession of teaching..which u then brush off as not applicable career to you, you have your breakfast, thn you get confused on what to wear for college today(cmon yar! m a girl!i dnt blame u on thinkign that "What the hell! i'm a boy! why will i get confused on dresses!!")! then you get dressed up! then u check urself again in d mirror..again..once again..then u leave for college..
the day was just going fine..all fine..all routine..as planned..
college ki masti...pranks..rumours..
when suddenly!! lightning strikes!! u see one face! smartly making its way through the crowd! wow! the looks! the eyes! what attitude! wow..see his dressing sense is just too good..and all the other guys you dreamt about always just now started looking like the extras dancing with Hrithik!
wow! u say to urslef! this is the guy! perfect! love at first sight!
and suddenly, another lightning strikes! are you looking good enough to attract his attention ??? you chk urself stealthily in the rear view mirror of the bike u were sitting proudly on!(obviously u dint know whose it was..but it doesnt matter yaaar! college hai! chalta hai!!)
and then..ur heart skips a beat! he's looking at me !!oh my god!!!! and you are floored..
see..just a glance at you..can make you floored! where is all your modestness gone??
where is all that i-am-much-better-than-you attitude with which u dumped all those proposals gone????
but its all gone..u r floored!!
what else one wants than having your relationship developed into friendship..close frndship!!
and you succeed..!! but you did not need t go 4 everything urself..the guy was not smart just by looks..he had his brains also intact!nd ws smart enough to know that you are also interested in him!yes...he was on the same boat!
so you both start talking on phone..and chatting online..for hours..doing stupid stuff like doodling on yahoo messenger!! playing funny games..tic tac toes being the commonest one related to such scenes! you want to know everything about the guy..his choices...food..to clothes..to colours..to drinks..and slowly.u make ur way and ask about the girls in is life!!u get a clean chit reply here !!!
you meet daily in college..ur heart as if stops beating when you havent seem him in college since morning! nd it starts running like a horse in a horse race when u see him staring at u! yes u! oh my god! u r on 7th heaven my dear!
your eyes shine..shine with tears...well hidden frm him..if you see any other girl flirting with him!
days do not passby if you havent met him..and nights are spent talking...and dreaming about the things happened over the day..and those which u expect over the next day!
and on saturdays and sundays! my god! life becomes hell! how will you meet him! when will monday come! why does this stupid principal gives saturdays also OFF..i mean sundays are OFF..its ok..ppl need rest! but saturdays!! who wants to rest on saturdays!y did those angels like men who made the calendar(i guess gregorain was the man!..excuse my GK if he's not the one!) put 7 days in a week!!! definitely so that u can meet ur darling for 6 days!! and see.. now these morons are giving saturdays OFF!! lord! give them some sense!
now you have also started waking upa little early!! see..how does love makes you a good child! parents had long stopped shouting at u the adage "early to bed and early to rise..makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" thinking you are a hopeless case! and here you are..waking up a full hour early!! god! this much change!! yes..you wake up early..because now you need to more time to yourself..u get dat?? the repetitive mirror-checking-exercise is now being followed ever more sincerely! c'mon yar..i understand...you have to look good!!afterall..he should fel proud of having this beautiful a darling!!
you also go to all the parties together..be it in the canteen itself! yes! the same canteeen where you spent all the time previously bunking classes...where you sweared you can spend your 4 yrs of collge doing time pass!! but ohh!! why is your canteen attendance so short.. i know its perfectly normal to have short atendance, but the keyword here is "canteen"...have you recently started aattending all the classes just to sit on the same bench with him!!!! and waaah!! copy to khali hai! achaa d last page is full! scrribbled here are d names...and d secret messages!god! u really are in love! what else can make you study my darling! oooopps sorry! "his darling!"
but really...you can sacrifice all you alwz wanted to do..u wanted to have..nd u wanted not to have and also not to do...just to make him happy! you just love it and feel proud of yourself when he smiles at even small gestures from you! nd ohhhhhhh! the same killer smile! how dashing! alwz so precious! a million dollar smile!!
this is the beauty of love..falling in completely, with all your heart..and all your soul..for the someone you cn do anything for..without him saying it!! coz u can read it in his eyes!! nd dis is the bonding only such lucky souls are bestowed upon by this great virtue of love!! but hey! am i being too philosophical! though i never intended to..but frnds say i have the habit of getting into analysis side of every such thing! what? when? where? how?etc. etc. are all the questions that keep showing their presence in my mind's dictionary again and again!!
but i guess i've enough pakkao-ed u all.! so i better sign off! nd now dont think wats the purpose of this post! posts and blogs are meant to explain u something!!! damn u! m not dt much into social work!! but yes..i can find out a rason for writing dis post..just wanted u to go back to ur college days and revive urself a little.....for those who are in dis phase of life, good! hats off to u all who inspired me!!!and for those who are not yet in college..c'mon babies!keep dreaming!!!
i guess i am going astray from the main theme now..guys! dont blame me! the topic is too intoxicating to continue! havent ever swung this much even after 5 shots of vodka!(now do not start thinkin u r reading a drunkard's post!!)
so..it starts off as just another day, you wake up, you curse your professors for being so much panicky about attendance..and u promise to urself u'll never be such a popularly hated professor if ever u enter the profession of teaching..which u then brush off as not applicable career to you, you have your breakfast, thn you get confused on what to wear for college today(cmon yar! m a girl!i dnt blame u on thinkign that "What the hell! i'm a boy! why will i get confused on dresses!!")! then you get dressed up! then u check urself again in d mirror..again..once again..then u leave for college..
the day was just going fine..all fine..all routine..as planned..
college ki masti...pranks..rumours..
when suddenly!! lightning strikes!! u see one face! smartly making its way through the crowd! wow! the looks! the eyes! what attitude! wow..see his dressing sense is just too good..and all the other guys you dreamt about always just now started looking like the extras dancing with Hrithik!
wow! u say to urslef! this is the guy! perfect! love at first sight!
and suddenly, another lightning strikes! are you looking good enough to attract his attention ??? you chk urself stealthily in the rear view mirror of the bike u were sitting proudly on!(obviously u dint know whose it was..but it doesnt matter yaaar! college hai! chalta hai!!)
and then..ur heart skips a beat! he's looking at me !!oh my god!!!! and you are floored..
see..just a glance at you..can make you floored! where is all your modestness gone??
where is all that i-am-much-better-than-you attitude with which u dumped all those proposals gone????
but its all gone..u r floored!!
what else one wants than having your relationship developed into friendship..close frndship!!
and you succeed..!! but you did not need t go 4 everything urself..the guy was not smart just by looks..he had his brains also intact!nd ws smart enough to know that you are also interested in him!yes...he was on the same boat!
so you both start talking on phone..and chatting online..for hours..doing stupid stuff like doodling on yahoo messenger!! playing funny games..tic tac toes being the commonest one related to such scenes! you want to know everything about the guy..his choices...food..to clothes..to colours..to drinks..and slowly.u make ur way and ask about the girls in is life!!u get a clean chit reply here !!!
you meet daily in college..ur heart as if stops beating when you havent seem him in college since morning! nd it starts running like a horse in a horse race when u see him staring at u! yes u! oh my god! u r on 7th heaven my dear!
your eyes shine..shine with tears...well hidden frm him..if you see any other girl flirting with him!
""yes..definitely..these dyzz girls are so bad.they flirt a lot..he cant flirt though..he must be talking only generally...he likes only me!!""
days do not passby if you havent met him..and nights are spent talking...and dreaming about the things happened over the day..and those which u expect over the next day!
and on saturdays and sundays! my god! life becomes hell! how will you meet him! when will monday come! why does this stupid principal gives saturdays also OFF..i mean sundays are OFF..its ok..ppl need rest! but saturdays!! who wants to rest on saturdays!y did those angels like men who made the calendar(i guess gregorain was the man!..excuse my GK if he's not the one!) put 7 days in a week!!! definitely so that u can meet ur darling for 6 days!! and see.. now these morons are giving saturdays OFF!! lord! give them some sense!
now you have also started waking upa little early!! see..how does love makes you a good child! parents had long stopped shouting at u the adage "early to bed and early to rise..makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" thinking you are a hopeless case! and here you are..waking up a full hour early!! god! this much change!! yes..you wake up early..because now you need to more time to yourself..u get dat?? the repetitive mirror-checking-exercise is now being followed ever more sincerely! c'mon yar..i understand...you have to look good!!afterall..he should fel proud of having this beautiful a darling!!
you also go to all the parties together..be it in the canteen itself! yes! the same canteeen where you spent all the time previously bunking classes...where you sweared you can spend your 4 yrs of collge doing time pass!! but ohh!! why is your canteen attendance so short.. i know its perfectly normal to have short atendance, but the keyword here is "canteen"...have you recently started aattending all the classes just to sit on the same bench with him!!!! and waaah!! copy to khali hai! achaa d last page is full! scrribbled here are d names...and d secret messages!god! u really are in love! what else can make you study my darling! oooopps sorry! "his darling!"
but really...you can sacrifice all you alwz wanted to do..u wanted to have..nd u wanted not to have and also not to do...just to make him happy! you just love it and feel proud of yourself when he smiles at even small gestures from you! nd ohhhhhhh! the same killer smile! how dashing! alwz so precious! a million dollar smile!!
this is the beauty of love..falling in completely, with all your heart..and all your soul..for the someone you cn do anything for..without him saying it!! coz u can read it in his eyes!! nd dis is the bonding only such lucky souls are bestowed upon by this great virtue of love!! but hey! am i being too philosophical! though i never intended to..but frnds say i have the habit of getting into analysis side of every such thing! what? when? where? how?etc. etc. are all the questions that keep showing their presence in my mind's dictionary again and again!!
but i guess i've enough pakkao-ed u all.! so i better sign off! nd now dont think wats the purpose of this post! posts and blogs are meant to explain u something!!! damn u! m not dt much into social work!! but yes..i can find out a rason for writing dis post..just wanted u to go back to ur college days and revive urself a little.....for those who are in dis phase of life, good! hats off to u all who inspired me!!!and for those who are not yet in college..c'mon babies!keep dreaming!!!
lost forever
"wow mom!!this is so so pretty!!" a little girl said to her ma, the colors of the fresh spring butterfly reflecting into her tiny but wide opened deep black eyes. ma replied,"yes my baby, its jus like u!u r also as beautiful and as charming". the girl wanted to hold the butterfly in her hands....as she was about to touch it, it flew away....
Emptiness and yearning replaced the rainbows in her eyes...
ma said."dont be sad my honey, some things are not forever..."
but she was sad...she was thinking..
.....thinking deep...
will i be as charming forever??
will the love and affection everyone showers on me be forever????
will the butterfly retain its colors forever??
or will this garden with blooming flowers remain as it is???
or this spring season which i like the most of all?????....
will anything remain as it is forever????
she grew up realising at every step of life..that d previous one has just metamorphosised into somehing she cudnt understand...something that was alien to her...
she became the elder sister...there were new responsibilities...
she completed her schooling...there was a new set of responsibilities...
she got admitted to a reputed college of the city....
lost her old frnds...made new ones....
somethings lost.....somethings gained...
and the greatest thing she got inn life...love...
she loved him tooo deeply....with the same innocence with which she had once coveted the beauty of the rainbow colored butterfly.....
and the thought again crossed her mind....
and this time it ws not just a thought.....
it was something more...
something that could change her life!
"will this love be forever????"
nd now everything changed....
she was not ready to trust any1 anymore...
she was not ready to love her love anymore/....
not that the love changed....but that the fear changed her
how it feels to live with a fear...everyone knows...
fear of not getting good marks...
fear of not getting admission..
fear of losing the best frnd...
of leaving ur home to ur future world..
of losing ur love..
of getting lost forever...
and on and on....
"can't i forget all fears...and live each moment of my life in the best possibe way i can??"
this was the question that changed her life again....
Emptiness and yearning replaced the rainbows in her eyes...
ma said."dont be sad my honey, some things are not forever..."
but she was sad...she was thinking..
.....thinking deep...
will i be as charming forever??
will the love and affection everyone showers on me be forever????
will the butterfly retain its colors forever??
or will this garden with blooming flowers remain as it is???
or this spring season which i like the most of all?????....
will anything remain as it is forever????
she grew up realising at every step of life..that d previous one has just metamorphosised into somehing she cudnt understand...something that was alien to her...
she became the elder sister...there were new responsibilities...
she completed her schooling...there was a new set of responsibilities...
she got admitted to a reputed college of the city....
lost her old frnds...made new ones....
somethings lost.....somethings gained...
and the greatest thing she got inn life...love...
she loved him tooo deeply....with the same innocence with which she had once coveted the beauty of the rainbow colored butterfly.....
and the thought again crossed her mind....
and this time it ws not just a thought.....
it was something more...
something that could change her life!
"will this love be forever????"
nd now everything changed....
she was not ready to trust any1 anymore...
she was not ready to love her love anymore/....
not that the love changed....but that the fear changed her
how it feels to live with a fear...everyone knows...
fear of not getting good marks...
fear of not getting admission..
fear of losing the best frnd...
of leaving ur home to ur future world..
of losing ur love..
of getting lost forever...
and on and on....
"can't i forget all fears...and live each moment of my life in the best possibe way i can??"
this was the question that changed her life again....
Two drops..
Beneath the sky.. cool and calm..
together were they..
he was holding her palm.
He knew he knew her,
but was afraid he may not!
there were many differences..
he was tall ! she was short !!!
He used to bring her a flower..
in the times when she loved to play...
and in the careless..happy..showers..
sing n' dance... n sing n' sway..
Together the climbed up the years' flight..
cherishing in their hearts..
the memories delight
They loved each other..
anything be on stake
Alas.
who knows..
where the destiny might take???
And now he started in a fading hope,
Beneath the sky.... cool and calm..
two drops of tears,
fell on his palm..
together were they..
he was holding her palm.
He knew he knew her,
but was afraid he may not!
there were many differences..
he was tall ! she was short !!!
He used to bring her a flower..
in the times when she loved to play...
and in the careless..happy..showers..
sing n' dance... n sing n' sway..
Together the climbed up the years' flight..
cherishing in their hearts..
the memories delight
They loved each other..
anything be on stake
Alas.
who knows..
where the destiny might take???
And now he started in a fading hope,
"My darling, I wanted to say it,
but could never cope"
"I've loved you since we used to play..
will miss the showers when we swung..n sway..."
"i have loved you since when you used to smile..
waiting for my gesture..even for a while.."
"i have loved you with all moments we spent.
never knew just for the golden memories..
they meant.."
"I am dying My Love, to our love.. hats off!
Let me serve my motherland this day
To your love
I can never pay off"
Beneath the sky.... cool and calm..
two drops of tears,
fell on his palm..
!!
Rhythm..is your love..
as my heart beats.
Your love is my life,
as the air i breathe.
Morning dew on a pebel
your touch is to me
Risen is the beauty within
when you look at me
My love,
you are the one who gives me strength..
at times indeed.
you give me the passion
when I am in need
Its your shulder of comfort
beneath the gray skies...
You have always beeen so kind..
and ever so nice!
I just can promise,
Wherever you got,
Whatever you do,
I'll always be there for you
I will always love you...
Love stories never end....
Coz there is no end to Love!
as my heart beats.
Your love is my life,
as the air i breathe.
Morning dew on a pebel
your touch is to me
Risen is the beauty within
when you look at me
My love,
you are the one who gives me strength..
at times indeed.
you give me the passion
when I am in need
Its your shulder of comfort
beneath the gray skies...
You have always beeen so kind..
and ever so nice!
I just can promise,
Wherever you got,
Whatever you do,
I'll always be there for you
I will always love you...
Love stories never end....
Coz there is no end to Love!
Another morning without you...
Another morning I felt warmth on my skin....
Felt you touching me..
Your touch which always makes it blossom,
Always so loving... so gentle,
Sending love down the pores..
To my heart.. always.. ever more..
I open my eyes to your lips touching mine,
Kissing me again.. a good day ahead
Assuring me.... your presence with me..
I open my eyes to see an open window..
The sun rays falling in.. the autumn wind blowing..
Waking me up to greet..
Another morning without you..
Felt you touching me..
Your touch which always makes it blossom,
Always so loving... so gentle,
Sending love down the pores..
To my heart.. always.. ever more..
I open my eyes to your lips touching mine,
Kissing me again.. a good day ahead
Assuring me.... your presence with me..
I open my eyes to see an open window..
The sun rays falling in.. the autumn wind blowing..
Waking me up to greet..
Another morning without you..
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